Holidays, Food, and Body Image
I love the holidays. I love Christmas music, and decorations, Christmas lights, and just the general magic that I feel like the holidays can bring. I know that I might not be in the majority when it comes to loving the holidays, and I can see why that can be. For a long time, while I loved all of those things about the holidays, I hated the minefield that was eating and food during the holidays.
When I was younger I would always be on a diet and telling myself that I would be “good” and stick to it throughout the holiday season. Then I would inevitably not stick to my diet, feel like I had already “blown it” and just binge, which would then send me into a shame spiral and cause me to restrict and binge more.
Sound familiar?
It’s a pattern I see and hear a lot about when it comes to holiday eating and food. I hear a lot of, “My diet starts in January!” or “I’m so bad!” or “I need to run a marathon to work that off!”
There are a lot of things I could say about these comments, but I’ll just say this: They’re all crap. Jokes and comments about eating holiday foods only reinforce disordered eating, body image issues, diet culture, and fatphobia. They aren’t helpful comments, and they are toxic, but for some reason they are normal, acceptable, and even seen as funny jokes.
This year, we might not be seeing family or friends like the non-pandemic holidays, but I think this pressure around food is still there, because even if other people aren’t saying these comments they are there with free rent in our heads.
So, to help this year here are some things we can do to not let the inner or outer critical voice ruin our enjoyment of a good holiday meal this year…
Give Yourself the Gift of Freedom: Don’t restrict yourself. I know this can be easier said than done. After years of restricting oneself, it can be hard to let go of the behavior that you probably don’t even notice yourself doing anymore. While this might seem counterintuitive, restricting actually leads to bingeing which as I said earlier leads to shame and just more restriction.
Don’t Label Foods. I know this is VERY hard to unlearn, but THERE ARE NO BAD FOODS. Unless you are actually allergic to a certain food, it’s not bad. This is one I still have to actively coach myself through. (We are all still on this journey.) So, when you want an extra helping of something but think it has too many carbs, or too much sugar...stop and instead listen to your body’s hunger cues and make a decision based on that and not whether or not that food is “bad.”
Tell Other People to Shut the Eff Up. Okay, maybe you don’t need to say it exactly like that, but if you need to, go for it! Set boundaries for yourself when it comes to the people in your life who you know aren’t helpful or might be toxic for you. Maybe that’s a conversation before you see them asking them not to make those comments. Maybe it’s in the moment where you ask them to not say more things like that. Maybe it’s that they are just not invited this year, and that’s totally okay, too. I know this can be a really hard one, but in order for you to heal and change your relationship with food and your body, you have to advocate for yourself. You have to believe that you are worth advocating for.
Find People Who Can Support You. It’s important to find people who can help be your cheering section. It can be people you’re close to, it can be an internet community, but find your people. I find it helpful to have at least one person you can text throughout the holiday dinner with eye-roll emojis and gifs.
I wish you all much joy and peace this holiday season!